MY STORY

Hey there, welcome to my page. I think it's important for you to understand my life experiences (and there are a lot of them) before we start working together, so here we go:

 

I come from a very difficult childhood involving an alcoholic mother who left when I was 3 and a father who experienced multiple divorces. These events amongst others deeply impacted my future relationships and my ability to effectively navigate them. My childhood traumas had formed negative core beliefs about myself and the world. It gave me fears of commitment while also wanting nothing more than to start a happy family with the right person. Identifying that was my very first step toward healing.

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Before I learned about attachment theory and really began my self-awareness journey, I had many failed relationships. In my teens, I grew up in a culture where hooking up with as many women as possible was a sign of status amongst friends. I had just wanted someone to fill the void of love that my mother had left (and still do today to an extent).

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I was very lonely and confused and didn't understand why- I just knew that I was driven to find the right person. I began reading dating books, thinking that that was the key to attraction and earning love. They were surprisingly effective at finding temporary happiness, but once my serious relationships started, I had no idea how to navigate the feelings and fears that would arise in myself, let alone my partners.

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As I result, I fell into the pattern of attracting and chasing the wrong women, and pushing away the ones who actually loved me. I've cheated and been cheated on, I've left people and been left. I've stayed in relationships while being unfulfilled and tried again with exes. I've rebounded and resorted to other unhealthy coping mechanisms to try to escape my sadness.

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I had seen four different therapists and whether it was their fault or my own, it didn't help in the slightest. It wasn't until I read the book Attached four years ago, that I finally started to understand what was going on... Realizing that my childhood and past relationships had severely affected my outlook on life and relationships and that I wasn't even consciously aware of that, completely changed my life.

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If I have to use classification terms (which can be exhausting), I'm a healing fearful-avoidant, meaning I crave love but also push it away if I don't catch my subconscious urges to do so. I have an anxious AND an avoidant side so it's easy for me to understand all of the insecure attachments from experience. I'm ALSO what's called a Highly-Sensitive Person (or HSP). HSP's develop a sort of hypersensitivity to everything external... in short, I feel pain extra and love harder which can amplify  my attachment style.

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After learning that my subconscious mind was guiding my nervous system and inaccurately telling me who to avoid and who to chase, something clicked and I became obsessively curious about how I could heal. So, I dove head-first into self-awareness literature, podcasts, and (the best) coaches. It consumed me. I know it's a cliché, but it felt like leaving the matrix. Like I could finally see all of the mistakes I made and all of my traumas that caused them.

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And more importantly, I had finally found a counsellor (all the way in Australia) who made it make sense and taught me just how to heal my past wounds through somatic therapy. It's been a wild, emotional journey and it never ends- I'm always healing. But now, I have the clearest mindset which is what I want to share with you and help you get there as well.

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A little more about me: I attended three different universities, served in the Marine Corps, earned my blue belt in BJJ, lived in five different states, and have met so many different people on my journey. I currently reside in Austin, TX with my two German Shepherds.